So Cold

Just a poem I wrote. One time in that one place.

So Cold
I’m not pulling away from you.
I’m pulling away from me.
I’m retreating inside the darkest place of my soul.

I’m not angry at you,
or angry at me.
I’m angry at the pain that won’t subside.

It’s never going to go away.
Forgetting is never going to work.
Don’t leave me alone, while I’m wading through this hurt.

It isn’t you.
It isn’t me.
It isn’t anybody.

You’ve loved me, don’t leave me.
You’re perfect you know.

It isn’t you that broke me.
It is you that woke me,
The soul that bled and died.

I feel the life.
I feel the tides turning over something new.
It’s beautiful, yet I run.

I run, I retreat, I hide.
I have faith in you, but it’s weak.
I have no faith in me.

Don’t let go.
Hold me tight.
Exorcise the pain.

I want to be yours.
I am yours.
It’s cold here. It’s dark here. You’re the light and the heat.
Hold me please.

Hashtag Swoon

This man is amazing. Incredible. Fabulous. Wonderful. Just really terrific. Wow.

This is a guy that knows how to treat a lady right and can win her heart in, well, a heartbeat. But guess what? I'm not letting him go ;) This perfect man makes me just swoon. All the time. Exhibit A (and you can bet I'll share more!) as follows. Note my margin notes.

And yes, I'm completely aware that this post is mostly pointless but how could I not share?!

Confidence

Falling in love isn't easy but it's not hard either. It's all about a leap of faith and trusting in someone else. And when you've been burned and bruised, it's not easy to trust and it's scary to love. So today, in the car, where I do much of my deep thinking, I wrote this poem. I'll call it Confidence.

I have confidence, it’s true.
It’s because of me that I met you.
Saying "hello, you seem awesome, I’m awesome too.
Call me."

My confidence is abundant, I know.
But it doesn’t matter much.
Because underneath that confidence.
I’m just a scared little girl.

I’ve got big dreams
A big heart,
a soul that knows where to go.
And I really don’t know what I’m doing.

I sort of want to hide.
It’s a big world. I’m a small girl.
And you could hurt me.

Love is taking chances
I’ll take a chance with you.

But don’t forget that underneath all this confidence.
I’m just a scared little girl,
Scared of this big bad world.
And I need to know I can trust in you.

The Movie Master and the Arrangement





Wednesday night was a night of boredom and relaxation. After work I decided to watch a movie so I had to, of course, consult The Movie Master to request a suggestion of which movie to watch. The Movie Master, aka Mr. Haiku from a previous post, is a movie critic that watches nearly every single movie when it hits theaters. After realizing a movie he hadn't seen but heard some great things about was available to me at a local indie theater, he suggested I see it.

Now, when I ask The Movie Master for a suggestion, I sincerely expect him to give me one that he's seen and enjoyed. I was a little taken aback by this advice. I pondered it briefly before coming back with a sort of arrangement. I watch The Iceman if he allows me to review it for his website. He willingly accepted so that night I ventured into Fleur Cinema for the first time.

Let me tell you, this theater is incredible. Tickets are at or lower than the cost of a standard theater. There's a full coffee bar and a couple beers on tap. The theater room entrances have back lit letters indicating which film is in each one and the lobby is a really hip lounge with super comfortable chairs. The art is fantastic and there's about a million synonomous adjectives I could use. But I'll just show you.



Can I have you? Take you home? Love this installation!



The film was incredible, you can see my full review over at Gorgon Reviews. I would definitely see this again. Considering it's based on a true story it was definitely much more intriquing knowing this really happened.

Egg: A Poetic Adventure

I wrote this for a guy who likes haiku that told me I should randomly type some words in a word document at work. That's really what happened. So I did, Mr. Haiku, this is poem is for you.

EGG
By Shelby Michalek

 

Broken toilets suck
Effectively can’t be used
For more than sitting

A broken spine hurts
But mostly for you, not me
It’s your spine, not mine!

Broken cups will leak
Don’t put the coffee in one.
Bring me a towel.

Broken phones won’t call
But working phones sometimes don’t.
Push the buttons, geez!

Your computer broke.
I said don’t click that link, duh.
Now you have malware.

Her heart is broken
Because he left her lonely
Empty chatrooms suck.

My car is broken
Well not really, just needs gas
Quik Trip, gas, candy.

This poem is broken
Because I’m out of ideas
Goodnight haiku. Egg.

 

 

Memorable Moments from Super Bowl 47

I want to share with you a list of most memorable moments from all of today, not just the super bowl part. Also I should note; I love and adore and did I mention LOVE football. A lot. I didn't watch the game today, I watched the ESPN.com gamecast because I don't have network television. I just haven't found a provider I like, it's not like I don't believe in TV, believe me, I do. So keep that in mind when I'm talking about the game. All my knowledge of the game comes from gamecast, texting with friends and my Facebook feed.

Shelby's Top 10 Most Memorable Moments of 2/3/2013
in chronological order.

• Waking up from a dream about health insurance scams to my 3 1/2 year old child screaming with blood running down his arms all over his body. Yes this happened this morning. My son was apparently going to bring mommy a glass of milk (Coffee Mate Cinnamon Vanilla Creamer) and tried to open the new bottle with a gigantic knife [GIGANTIC KITCHEN KNIFE] and ended up slicing open his thumb. Momma administered the best first aid she knew and then got all three of us dressed and spent an hour at the local ER.
  The first photo is momma's first aid attempt, the second after the doctor patched him up. By the way, that's a purple bandage on his index finger in the second photo, not blood.
   

 

 

• You can't go to the grocery store and buy only chocolate milk for your injured child. You also must buy three flavors of sugar free jello and a pizza. It may also require Snapple purchasing and perhaps a new Dora the Explorer book and some organic fruit leather strips. This is all true.
• On Sundays I post on Facebook a lot, especially during the kids' naptime. Washing dishes and doing laundry can wait, Momma needs to be social even if she can't go clubbing. (I don't.) I also scroll through a lot of silly photos on Facebook. Of the 10 or so I shared, this one is my favorite.
  
  
  I mean, no one really ever has. O_o
  
• Snapple. It's kind of the shit. Not like, "ew, who poo'd" but like "Heck yes, best ever!" Drink it. It's better than anything.
• I went to the store two separate times today. The second time was because I realized I needed cat food. And a new coffee maker. And coffee. And coffee filters. But mostly cat food. Half of it is still in the trunk of the car. Because I live on the third floor and I hate carrying up boxes and stuff while also carrying my little punk and herding my now injured child up the steps to "the house." So after I write this, guess who is going to get her cat food and coffee maker from the car. Mostly the cat food. Gulli is hungry.
• You know that silly joke about the guy who was murdered and it gives all the alibis for all the suspects and you have to figure out who did it and the answer is the maid because her alibi was that she was getting the mail and it was Sunday and "there's no post on Sunday." I have one thing to say to that. I get the mail on Sunday. Because I'm too lazy to go get it Thursday through Saturday. So I get the mail twice a week on Wednesday and Sunday. So don't be suspecting me of killing someone, k? I really do the get mail on Sundays.
• First half of "the big game" I only have to say GO RAVENS!
• Half time - Beyoncé, girl, please get off the big screen. Get off all the screens. You're darling, really, but I'm ready for a new mega star. Bieber and Minaj - You may NOT apply. Go away.
• Second half of big game two things happened. I'll get to the first thing second. The second thing is first. Because I can. So the second thing is. GO 49ERS! Sorry you didn't win but WELL PLAYED HALF! The first thing is the silly little power outage. This is all I have to say.




• Lastly, did you know the secret to AH-MAY-ZING French toast is a good coffee creamer. Try this. I'll share my french toast making method in a different post at some point; but just imagine this if you will, how amazing this is.

 

That's all I have for today, it's been a crazy long and eventful Sunday. I hope yours was much more relaxed. And I hope you watched football. And drank beer. Or wine. Or orange juice. Whatever. And if you have any leftover wings, first of all, shame on you. Second, overnight them to me.
-Shelby




Carry On, I Believe in You

I'm a firm believer in many things; over the last year my beliefs have just become more passionate and special to me. Everything I do, I do with all my heart.

When it comes to success I have a specific mind-set. You can literally DO anything you wish but you HAVE TO make it happen. You can never expect anything will just "fall into place" for you.

Recently I posted this to Facebook. It's my own original words and I feel they're very important. I posted them not only to share with my friends but to serve as a gentle reminder to myself.

 

But I'm well aware that sometimes it's hard to just have faith in yourself so if you are feeling a little down, go ahead and search for this song on youtube.com

"Fun - Carry On"

Just listen to whatever version floats your boat.

Because it's the message that's important. Carry On. You will get where you need to go; just keep moving.

- With Love and Faith; I believe in YOU.
Shelby

If you're lost and alone
Or you're sinking like a stone,
Carry on
May your past be the sound of your feet upon the ground and
Carry on
Read more: FUN. - CARRY ON LYRICS

Home Again

November 2012 - Me and the "punks"
getting ready for work and daycare.

"Look Mommy! I came back to you!" Abel said as he burst through the door to our apartment and ran into my arms.
My darling 3 1/2 year old son always says the sweetest things when he comes back from Dad's house.
They're with their father every few weeks for 2-5 days at a time and I can vouch for the fact that having your children away from you for even just one night is a painful time. I'm not just Mommy, so I fare well with them gone; but there's always an ache that doesn't leave your heart until they're back.

"See you!" Scarlet waves before twisting into my arms to give me the biggest grin.

She always says goodbye to Dad, she loves her father. But the happiness my [almost] 2-year old radiates when she gets to be Momma's snuggle bug again cannot be missed. She loves to cuddle. So do I. I'm so glad to have them home again tonight.

The Twisted Thread: Review

I've finally completed The Twisted Thread by Charlotte Bacon and I'd love to share my thoughts!

Star Rating:

Synopsis:
Claire Harkness, an intelligent, beautiful and mysterious girl at the prestigious Armitage Academy, is found dead in her room one morning. Faculty quickly learn that this privileged girl had also been pregnant and her newborn child missing. An English teaching intern, Madeline, had been one of the teachers residing in Claire's dorm building. She finds herself assisting in the very private case in searching for Claire's killer and baby. Coincidentally, the detective on the case is a graduate of this very elite boarding school community and as an alumnus uses his experiences and knowledge of the inner workings of the school to aid in the search.

Thoughts:
I enjoyed this book tremendously, however, I had a hard time really getting into it in the beginning. This may have been to some extent my own fault; It took 2.5 weeks just to get through 1/4 of the book. After that it took just 4 days to complete the last 75%. The short changing third person chapters were difficult to follow. I don't normally have an issue with changing third person but each chapter was only a few pages long, with the story only progressing in about 5 minutes of activity at time, especially at the beginning. Once I was able to really delve into the story and the plot started twisting (pun not intended) I started to enjoy it more and really love it. In the end I'm satisfied with the book; it really makes you think.

The Twisted Thread on Goodreads.com
The Twisted Thread on Amazon [Paperback] [Kindle]

-Shelby

Reading

I recently added my Goodreads “Currently Reading” Widget to my side bar. I love to read and enjoy sharing that love. I’ll likely review books from time to time after I’ve read them and I’ll leave the widget up at all times so you can see what I’ve been reading. I also have a lineup of books I’ll be reading next:

-After I finish The Twisted Thread by Charlotte Bacon, I’ll be reading the novella Rage by Stephen King; part of The Bachman Books.

-Once I’ve completed Rage and Bared to You (Crossfire #1) by Sylvia Day, another one I’m currently on, I’ll be starting The Game of Thrones (The Song of Ice & Fire #1) by George R.R. Martin and devoting all my reading time to that until it’s finished or until I need a mental break.

-If I do pick up a second book while on TGoT it’ll be another one from the Bachman collection or the next book in the Crossfire series by Sylvia Day.

I’m excited to read The Game of Thrones for many reasons. The Song of Ice & Fire is one of the most popular fantasy series of the past decade and I’m told it’s very good. I’m not really big on popular fiction, but I feel as if this doesn’t really fit that genre. The other reason is, a good friend recommended it to me and promised that we would watch the first season of the HBO series together as long as I read the book first. Lastly, it’s been a long time since I’ve read fantasy fiction and I’m eager to see if I still have the taste for it. I’m certain I’ll love it.

I’m sure it might seem odd that I like to read more than one book at a time but my theory is this; Just like your moods change, so should your reading. You may hate a book because you read it while in the wrong mood. Read for your mood. You’ll feel better, stress less and enjoy your books even more. Now if you’re easily distracted and get side tracked or confused easily, this may not be an easy approach for you and it may even feel impossible. I’m simply implying that my technique for reading has a purpose and you may be able to use it as well. Try it

Good Reading!

-Shelby